Is Quitting the New Resolution? Exploring the Gifts of Reflection Instead.

I have always despised making grand gestures and resolutions "for a great year!" at the start of the new western calendar year. You too? I was sharing this with my 6th grade daughter the other day and she laughed in agreement and told me about National Quitters Day which occurs on the second Friday of January, so in this case, Friday January 10th. Interestingly, Straava, the social network for active folks did a bunch of research showing that 80% of their 800 million users tapped out of their resolutions roughly two weeks after setting them. So in honor of tomorrow, why not join them I say?

Here's a list of things I think I'm going to try to quit doing in 2025:

1. Second guessing myself. In the 51 years I have been on this planet, I've earned the right to stop this atrocious self-doubting behavior. With attunment, my gut instincts are mostly spot on. I've worked on this skill for decades! I will keep working on it obviously. "So'ham", I am That.

2. Feeling Like a Bad Yogi. We are all so very human, including yoga teachers (the good ones can easily admit this LOL). Like anything you learn, a life lesson, a skill or whatever, with discernment ("viveka"), we can absolutely pick and choose what works the best for us. This means that I don't have to master any kind of yoga pose, be amazingly creative with class sequencing, meditate every day, or compare my practice to anyone else around me. That's just dumb. We are all uniquely our own selves. Isn't that wonderful?!

3. Feeling like I'm too old to start anything new. Ridiculous! I just have to remind myself that when I was 35, I was an absolute baby. In my 40s, I thought I had it all figured out and in my 50s, I'm starting to emerge! "Atha Yoga Anushasanm". I'm also looking around and seeing incredible examples of menopausal women living their best lives. They don't get there because they are complacent. They've earned every bit of light they carry. They have absolutely experienced the "bring you to your knees" symptoms and inescapable transition of the reproductive cycle. I didn't have this example of midlife potential from my Mum's generation, but we have an abundance of midlife goddesses around us today, thank goodness (my favorite shero at the moment is Jamie Lee Curtis, am I right?!).

   
   

   

   Instagram Post by @suleikajaouad and tinypricksproject

   
   

If all of this quitting business is just a bit silly for you, I get it. Before writing this blog post, I spent last week reflecting on writer and artist, Suleika Jaouad's end of year prompts. It addresses my deep aversion to resolutions because she is asking us to reflect, deeply, instead of making impossible promises we can't keep.

Reflecting happens when I give myself permission to pause and find space. This is a daily non-negotiable for me now. Reflecting gives me a map to choose what feels right to me, to choose to love my perimenopausal myself over and over (regardless of the beastly mood swings), to choose who I spend my time with, to pursue joy over obligations, to let go of the fear and anxiety and embrace the new, wonderfully formed, perfectly imperfect human that I'm becoming.

So if that's more of your style, consider these prompts by the brilliant Suleika:

1. What in the last year are you proud of?

2. What did this year leave you yearning for?

3. What's causing you anxiety?

4. What resources, skills and practices can you rely on in the coming year?

5. What are your wildest, most hairbrained ideas and dreams?

I'm happy to share mine with you if you would like to reach out. This is the second year I've turned to these prompts, and I go back to my reflections over and over throughout the year, especially during those times when my perimenopausal self is trying to sabotage me. IYKYK.